The chronicals of Dirty J... The Final Days

Hello again all who read this. Exams have been going strong and I have had very little time to update my blog, however I would really like to try and get back into it because I do enjoy writing them. Anyways enough about my personal life lol.

SO THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!!! That's right, the days of Dirty J are no more. At the beginning of April, all of the roommates came together and finally decided that we would get out of there. Aside from the reasons I have already listed in my previous blogs, which were more than enough to make anyone want to leave that dump, I will now give you a brief idea of what the condition of the house is now:

The front door has 2 handles on it, one of which falls off when opened from the inside of the house, and one that is simply a handle that would be placed on a room substituted for a front door handle. As you can see Dirty J is still going about his cheap ways, although on the plus side we haven't been robbed yet. The upper floor bathroom is a complete mess, garbage everywhere and dirt and just general chaos. The living room still has all its furniture which will be left there, a few garbage bags, an old TV (which still works if anyone is interested just rob the place). Now the kitchen, oh the kitchen in all its glory. For lack of a better description it is pretty much a small scale landfill. Ask anyone who has seen it and they will tell you that it is definitely one of a kind (so is the smell). Essentially the smell resembles a murder scene, so now I can say I know what a dead body smells like (not that I'm bragging). Basement has some garbage and a random bed. Well Dirty J consider this your DIRTY gift for being possibly the worst landlord in the history of rental properties. If by some divine miracle Dirty J manages to get that shit hole rented to anyone, I feel bad for them. 

Now I know what you're thinking, how is he just going to let this slide? Well my dear friends let me explain something. Being a negligent landlord is a two way street. When you provide your tenants with the most minimal luxuries such as flood clean up, porch repair, and general property upkeep, they reward you by keeping the house tidy, and respecting your property. When you are Casper the ghost, who only shows up to collect money and harass us, then sir you are rewarded with the house in its current condition. See Dirty J not only smells like fresh Haterade and BO mixed with a little side of garlic, but he pretty much acts like how he smells.....SHITTTY!!!! Dirty J never took any before and after photos, never came around and examined anything, never surveyed for previous damages, oh yeah......and he lost the original copy of the lease which has all our names signed on it. Dumb ass!Last time I checked the tenant landlord agreement act of Ontario (which I occasionally do), without that you are not even legally entitled to any rent. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it you moron! Let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of owning and then renting properties.....KEEP THE LEASE. If it's the only thing you do KEEP THE LEASE!!!!!!! Now Dirty J being the charmer that he is still somehow feels like he will be able to rent this property, so what does he do? Why he puts a big bright red FOR RENT sign on a tree near the front door. Good luck buddy.... I mean is he serious? If the health inspector were to survey the house they would deem it unfit to inhabit and probably order that it be condemned and demolished. But then again Dirty conditions call for a Dirty J. And that's exactly what he got. 

Now that I am finally out of there the adventure has ended, and I couldn't be happier (though the stories are pretty humorous). I will still post blogs frequently, though now I will need to choose some new topics. If any new revelations occur in the Dirty J saga I will keep everyone posted. Anyways I'm signing off. 
eZz    

The chronicals of Dirty J Part V

I took a long hiatus from my blog and I really don't know why. Maybe it's all the dust floating around this house, or maybe its the moldy basement, but whatever the case may be I'm back for another chapter. I was having some trouble deciding what to write this blog on since for a while there Dirty J seemed to have better things to do than harass his favorite household. Little did I know this was only a temporary break.

Finally its getting to be the home stretch and move out day is only about a month away (thank goodness!!!). I took the liberty of moving quite a bit of my stuff out prematurely because to be honest I have no intentions on sticking around to see the fireworks on the day this house finally becomes for lack of a better word abandoned. It is certainly no surprise that Dirty J has not found a single tenant interested in renting this dump, and to be honest I hope he never finds another tenant to rent from him ever again. On the last tour of the house Dirty J had the nerve to start discussing clean up and that sort of thing......funny!! I wonder where the Dirty in Dirty J comes from?  lol (its his extremely unpleasant smell by the way). So anyways we get to talking/arguing about the clean up and repairs and I finally come out and ask him where he has been hiding all the times we had problems that needed URGENT attention (ex. Flood, Broken Patio, Numerous Broken Appliances, the list could go on and on), and then I finally ask him where he was on that faithful day when we moved in at 6pm too a house which looked pretty much like a dumping ground. His response was a silent stare....he knew I had him beat. I asked him again why he was always mysteriously unavailable during that weekend in December when the flood occurred. Again I got the cold silent Dirty J stare. "Are you telling me I'm lying?" were my exact words after a few moments of silence. Well to put it bluntly he knew I was right and exited the premises soon after. 

Well last night he was back again, this time to collect rent (which he does not deserve!!!!) from one of my roommates.  This guy has the nerve to come at him about clean up and keeps going on and on about halls not being clear and that (AND I QUOTE) " if the ummm fire department were to show up here this would be a big problem." Why the hell would the fire department just show up at our house number 1, and number 2.....its your house idiot so you'd be the one with the fine. I'm thinking maybe the fire dept. will be getting a call soon.....just kidding. Then he goes on to ask my roommate if he has a spare key. He says he needs a key to copy because he lost his key to this house........so that's correct, Dirty J has now officially lost: 

1. The lease
2. All of our phone numbers, email addresses, and contact info
3. The keys to his own house
4. His deodorant
5. AND HIS DAMN MIND!!!!

Well needless to say a key was made available to him and I'm sure he will loose that one too. I guess if you really don't care about getting a house rented why have a key to it right? But what do I know.....I'm no landlord. 

That's all for now, I'll keep this updated more often.
eZz

The chronicals of Dirty J...Part IV

Alright I'm back apparently by popular demand, and the chronicles continue......when you have a landlord like Dirty J do they ever end....? I guess not till I move out!

Well not to seem like I'm counting down the days or anything but only about 2 months left in this dump haha and as usual as I'm writing this I constantly think of all the things I could talk about! The list is long and disastrous, and at times pretty amusing. 


So back to bizzz, at this point in the lease it's 2010, new year, and of course a SHITLOAD of new problems. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts as the summer draws nearer and nearer it becomes a popular time for students to start taking tours of houses in anticipation that they will eventually find a place to call home for a year or two (hopefully not one of Dirty J's properties!!!!!!!!!!!). Well as you may have guessed Dirty J, being the landlord of the century that he is, decided that maybe he should start showing the house to students for when we FINALLY move out. Now as a house we have made it a rule to STRONGLY CAUTION the touring groups that this humble abode (house) would not be a wise choice if they value their living conditions at all. Now as most people who have lived alone, or have had the pleasure of dealing with landlords before know that in order for a landlord to enter the premises they must I REPEAT MUST give 24 hour notice to the tenants (DID I MENTION THEY MUST) unless the situation is deemed an emergency, and I would like to think that showing a house to some kids is NOT an emergency!  Dont believe me ok well here........

Entry without notice

Entry without notice, emergency, consent

26.  (1)  A landlord may enter a rental unit at any time without written notice,

(a) in cases of emergency; or

(b) if the tenant consents to the entry at the time of entry. 2006, c. 17, s. 26 (1).

Same, housekeeping

(2)  A landlord may enter a rental unit without written notice to clean it if the tenancy agreement requires the landlord to clean the rental unit at regular intervals and,

(a) the landlord enters the unit at the times specified in the tenancy agreement; or

(b) if no times are specified, the landlord enters the unit between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. 2006, c. 17, s. 26 (2). HAHAHAHAH now that is a joke. I WISH MR DIRTY J would enter the rental unit to clean!! There is a reason I call him Dirty J. Back to the point........

Entry to show rental unit to prospective tenants

(3)  A landlord may enter the rental unit without written notice to show the unit to prospective tenants if,

(a) the landlord and tenant have agreed that the tenancy will be terminated or one of them has given notice of termination to the other;

(b) the landlord enters the unit between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.; and

(c) before entering, the landlord informs or makes a reasonable effort to inform the tenant of the intention to do so. 2006, c. 17, s. 26 (3).

Now this is the clause that I really want to focus on, particularly part (c). Notice the part that states the landlord must inform or make a reasonable effort to inform, well I can assure you that just walking in without talking to one member of the house is probably not a reasonable effort, but hey what do I know...... Anyways the story continues.

I could recall countless times where one of more of us have been chilling in the living room, basement, upper floor, etc..... and Dirty J has entered the so called rental unit without even a knock. I guess having a key means you can enter any time you want....oh wait it doesn't....but in Dirty's World anything goes. Now I'm not even going to get into all these instances (humorous as they were) as it would be enough information to fill a few pages, I'll just get to the good stuff!

Me and my roomate are chilling in the living room one night at about 7:00pm and we see a car pull into the drive way. Now the living room looks right onto the driveway so naturally when we see someone pull in we all get up and look to see who it is. In this case we both have no idea so as usual we wait for the knock. Not to our surprise we are met by 5 bright eyed young students eager to take a tour of the dump (lol). They tell us that Dirty told them he would meet them at 7 to show the house. Well as you guessed neither of us had heard anything from the mysterious Dirty in weeks, so this visit was rather unexpected (though in a sad way it wasn't). We give the kids the same speech we give everyone about how signing a lease with this man is pretty much making a deal with the devil. By this time it's about 7:20pm and Dirty J is still no where to be seen. I never took a class called Being a Landlord 1000 (and I assume Dirty J never took that one either), but my basic Landlord instincts seem to be telling me that when you want people to rent a house from you, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SHOW UP TO SHOW THEM THE HOUSE YOU MORON!!!!!! hahaha sorry for the outburst, but seriously. 

Now Dirty J is not only a man who is impossible to reach, never around, and always mysterious, but he also has a memory span of about 3 minutes 27 seconds (scientifically proven). Me and Dirty have had a nice talk about how when he comes to the house (with or without notifying us since that is asking far too much) he is only allowed to go into rooms if the person is home or if the door is open. Of course this next story has to do with just that. I'm in my room with my girlfriend (who will probably not appreciate this sorry baby) and we are in bed watching some tv. Now keep in mind I have had no contact with Dirty J about any tours or any showings at this point. I'm just enjoying the program, the room is dark, and then the door swings open. Standing in the doorway is the man himself DIRTY J and 3 lovely girls who will most certainly not be renting from buddy any time soon after that night. I looked him right in the eyes and screamed "CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!!!" I have not spoken to him since. 

Now this will not be the finally to the chronicles as I foresee many many more exciting events to come but for now all has been quiet on the homefront. 

To end this post I would like to personally URGE any potential home buyer or renter to never EVER EVER EVER x1000000 overlook the landlord. They will make or break your time in a student house or house in general, and will make your life a living hell. And hey, if you end up running into Dirty J in the future know that you have my deepest sympathies........and my advice for you: GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!

I'm out for now but there will most certainly be a part V I promise. 

eZz

 

The chronicals of Dirty J...Part III

At this point, as I mentioned earlier, I have been living at Dirty J's house for about 10 months now and with every day comes a new adventure, or should I say nightmare. Yeah I'll stick with nightmare. For me to continue with a time line would fill up pages and pages so instead I have decided to use a very simple method to describe just a few of the disastrous milestones that have occurred thus far.  

I'll go back to the Residential Tenancies Act of Ontario and paste every act under Part 3 "The Landlords Responsibilities" and beside each responsibility I will give a fool proof example of how those responsibilities were somehow overlooked by this stories main character.....Dirty J.

Landlord’s responsibility to repair

20.  (1)  A landlord is responsible for providing and maintaining a residential complex, including the rental units in it, in a good state of repair and fit for habitation and for complying with health, safety, housing and maintenance standards. 2006, c. 17, s. 20 (1).

I'll start with the responsibility of maintaining and repair clause. I know I already touched on this one before but I believe it is an important one. For starters around 2 weeks after we had moved into the house a disaster of epic proportions rocked the house (and possibly the street). Attached to the back of the house is a main floor patio, and because our basement is above ground it happens to be on the second story of the house, point and case it is a 1 floor drop to the ground. Well if you couldn't tell where this was going from that description....IT COLLAPSED!!!!! That's right the patio fell 1 floor to the ground and so did a full size BBQ, 3 couches, 2 tables, and about 50 people. Turns out the patio was not even built up top code, the foundations (which looked like wooden planks) had completely rotted out, and best of all after having a contractor look at it, the patio was missing vital supports. Dirty J of course couldn't believe this to be possible considering the great TERRIBLE condition of the house. Repair time, which in this situation should have been started the next day, took about 3 months (keep in mind no one even came to look at the damage for about a month). This left us with no patio. There was a bug infestation in the basement and centipedes in the 1000's carpeted the floor. DIRTY J's GLORIOUS SOLUTION......Raid bug spray. Doesn't that stuff cost $7.99 at the local Wal Mart? I thought that was for killing a bug or two......but I guess when your dirty dirty J it works on thousands. Well actually it didn't and we had to wait for them to die then sweet up the corpses (not pretty).

The second large issue that falls under the category of repair and upkeep would be our lovely flood....wait make that 3 of them. Yup, turns out the trees in our backyard decided to grow their roots right into our sub pump (lucky me). Now let me sidetrack for a second to inform the readers that Dirty J is a man of mystery, a man of suspicion, but most of all he is a man who is almost near IMPOSSIBLE to contact. His phone is never on, when it is he doesn't answer, and when you leave a message, you guessed it, he doesn't call back......back to the story. So finally after many attempts to reach Dirty we get through only to be told he has forgotten his plumbers number and we need to call them. Turns out we have their number on a magnet on the fridge....how convenient. By this time there is about 8 inches of water covering the entire basement floor which is coming out of every sink with a steady flow. My roommates bedroom is completely flooded and we are out of patience. When the plumbers finally arrive they turn out to be great guys and help us fix the problem. Now I am well aware that roots growing in to the sub pump are not Dirty J's fault in any way (though I'm sure he somehow managed to make sure it happened), but it was not our fault either and as far as I can tell it IT THE LANDLORDS RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE CLEAN UP so that the rental unit......and I quote the lines above" is in a good state of repair and fit for habitation and for complying with health, safety, housing and maintenance standards"

As you already guessed poor old Dirty J didn't quite have that one figured out either. After 2 days of continuous calling we finally get through only to be instructed to go to another one of his houses and pick up a shop vac (water vacuum) and perform the clean up ourselves. Now by this time stagnant water has been sitting in the basement for 2 days, it smells, mold is developing and the list goes on and on. Unless my eyes have failed me at the ripe old age of 20 I'm pretty sure that contradicts the whole " fit for habitation", or " complying with health" sections of the above clause. Last time i checked mold and stagnant water were kind of on the unhealthy side of things (just saying). Attached to this post are some great home videos of the flood to prove my point, also for your enjoyment, and entertainment. God Bless GREAT landlords.

Part IV on its way.

eZz

 

The chronicals of Dirty J...Part II

Ok where was I......... oh yeah Dirty J.

Summer just started, the lease has already been signed, and its move in day. I figure this would be easier to grasp if I make a half ass time line so here goes.....

(12:00 pm): Should be standard move in time, so thinking that I arrive at the house with my stuff ready to move in. BIG MISTAKE!!!! There is a white van parked on the lawn in front of the main door, and the current tenants are still taking their time moving out, AKA they have barely even started. Dirty J is no where in sight and there is really nothing any of us can do to speed up the process.

(6:00 pm): Finally the remaining tenant is done moving out and we are allowed to begin moving in. http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/statutes/english/elaws_statutes_06r17_e.htm#BK21.
Above is a link to the Residential Tenancies Act of Ontario, just for fun, well also to prove some points but who wants to read a big legal document anyways. The point is 6:00 pm is certainly not a good move in time.....but it gets worse.

(7:00 pm): Still no sign of Dirty J, and by this point we are all pretty sure he is not coming. This is where that link comes in handy but ill make it easier on the readers by pasting in good points. House is a complete mess, the prior tenants left pretty much anything they didn't want to take with them at the house. None of us have keys to the house since we have still not seen the landlord. House is visibly damaged and has not been repaired in some time, not to mention the HUGE amount of dust, mold and just plain out greez throughout the house.....the list could go on and on but at this point I just wanted to get my shit out of the truck and into my soon to be lovely home. HAHA

PART III
RESPONSIBILITIES OF LANDLORDS

Landlord’s responsibility to repair

20. (1) A landlord is responsible for providing and maintaining a residential complex, including the rental units in it, in a good state of repair and fit for habitation and for complying with health, safety, housing and maintenance standards. 2006, c. 17, s. 20 (1).

Oops...must have missed that one Dirty J but there is still more......

I have lived at this house for close to 10 months now and I never thought I could have ever witnessed this kind of shit from ANY LANDLORD EVER!!!!! Apparently Dirty J owns several properties throughout the city, and even some in other cities........so my question is how does this happen? ? ? Isn't this shit illegal or partially illegal, I mean the guy is getting paid a good amount of money so shouldn't I be seeing results. This is just the icing on the cake though.
Part III coming soon!
eZz

The chronicals of Dirty J

Alright so this is my first post and I figured I should start by addressing an issue which has been bugging me for quite some time: NEGLIGENT LANDLORDS!!!!!!!

I have lived on my own for 2 years now and to be honest this year has been far from a great experience. Student life can be tough as it is as I'm sure many many students can attest to, but what makes student life even more frustrating is when your finally done a long day of classes and you can't even look forward to going back to your place of residence.

I'll start from the beginning.......
In August 2008 my friend and I decided that for our first year of school we would avoid residence and find our own place to live. As any student knows, there is a certain urgency when it comes to the matter of student housing and properties do go fast, so we were more than a little bit late and it was pretty slim pickings. After making some calls and looking around we ended up signing the lease on a nice 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom basement apartment. The place was great, good size bedrooms, recently refurbished, and the BEST part.....the landlord (I'll call him RJ) was a very friendly down to earth guy. To put it bluntly NO PROBLEMS!!! I'm not sure if a saying exists that states if something starts off going well it will probably turn out well, but when it comes to student housing and landlords my experience teaches me that is most definitely the case. On move in day we arrived at the property at 12:00pm (standard move in time) and were greeted by RJ and his lovely wife who were in the process of cleaning the house and changing the locks for us. We moved in got our keys and internet password and that was it, no bullshit excuse my language. Throughout the whole 8 months living there I never had a problem contacting RJ, and even when my room flooded (which was pretty serious) RJ arrived almost instantly, cleaned the mess himself, fixed the problem (which was something to do with the foundation), and assured me it would not happen again......AND IT NEVER DID! Thanks RJ.

Fast forward to March 2009, same scenario, a couple friends and myself are again in need of a place to live for the upcoming year.....except this time we actually got on it early enough that we would have a few more options. After some tours and searching we stumbled upon the fantastic house in which I am currently sitting in typing this post. HA....well the second part is true I am sitting in it but it's far from fantastic.

Fast forward again (sorry) to May 2009. After meeting several times with the landlord (I'll call him Dirty J for obvious reasons) the lease was finally signed and we were officially ready to move in.

I currently have some laundry waiting to be put in the dryer so I'll continue this lovely story in my next post.
eZz